I was recently reading a book on how to play guitar, 100 Guitar Tips You Should Have Been Told by David Mead. The author referred to what he described as the “can’t do” barrier that prevents students from advancing. He states “If something seems impossible at first, there is always a good reason why.” When I read this, I immediately relaxed. What was it about the phrase “there is always a good reason” that was so relieving?

In her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck discusses the difference between a fixed or growth mindset. The difference, it seems, is in how we interpret the meaning of our successes and failures. The fixed mindset interprets achievement as a reflection of innate ability whereas a growth mindset interprets achievement as the result of learning. It’s the difference between a trait and a process. While it may be true that people vary in their talents and capabilities, attributing accomplishment exclusively to ability means that you are only as good as your last success, and every failure threatens to condemn you.

As a therapist, I have found that a pervasive underlying problem for many people is the thought “There is something wrong with me.” If we hold this belief deep down, then any difficulty is experienced as evidence that this is true. It is not a big leap from there to the conviction that I “can’t do” it. However, if “there is a reason” why something is difficult, even if I don’t yet know what the reason is, then I become a learner again, who can discover what I don’t yet know.

My friend George Matchette, MFT, who works at the Community Healing Center in SF, recently sent me a link to some really promising research about getting real, durable resolution of traumatic memories.

Apparently, when we remember events that evoke anxiety, there is a window of time during which it is possible to eliminate the associated fear. This is different than previous understandings which seemed to suggest that the best we could learn to do was manage them.

The research was conducted by NYU psychologist Elizabeth Phelps. Listen to her interview on NPR’s Science Friday.

Welcome to my blog. The intention of this blog is to connect. With whom would I like to connect? Hopefully, my extended community of people with shared interests, such as:

• transpersonal psychotherapy
• presence
• the process of conducting psychotherapy
• spirituality and psychology
• integrative therapy
• psychotherapy theory
• research about effectiveness in therapy
• mind-body approaches
• giftedness
• creativity
• indigenous psychologies

So, who might be interested in this site?
• clients or potential clients
• other therapists
• healers
• friends
• anyone who is interested in my work

The hub of my professional work is “presence,” researching both clinically and academically how it manifests in the process of psychotherapy.

Something of note: I am intentionally not separating this blog into a commercial site (i.e., for clients) and professional site (i.e., for colleagues). I am doing this as an experiment. After all, I claim to be “holistic”, among other things. If the arbitrary separation of the individual into “parts” (e.g., mind, body, spirit) is reductionistic, perhaps separating my community into “consumers” and “practitioners” is as well.

We are all growing. We are all learners. Knowledge is not the exclusive property of any particular interest group. So, I am hoping that this site will be a place where I can express myself transparently, in the context of my work, and engage community from that position.

My purpose or intention for this blog is:
• to connect with my “tribe”, by which I mean a community of shared interests and values
• to express my professional self in a public venue
• to share resources, as I come upon them
• to bring my work, both clinical and academic, into a larger domain
• to invite dialogue
• to elicit co-participation in research
• to provide updates on my professional activities